1. The origin of Goats
Joey Essex and Chloe are at a zoo…
Joey: "Look at that goat's beard, how embarrassing."
Chloe: "Is that why they're called Goats…because they've got goatees?
Joey: "Yeah, you're so right."
Chloe: "You can't shave them off, otherwise they won't be Goats."
2. This ultimate insult
Joey Essex to Mario and Lucy at their engagement party "You pair of f**king Capri Suns."
Mario and Lucy didn't look so impressed...
3. How to claim your divaship
When Ferne asks Gemma if she's ever been a diva...
"I'm Gemma Collins, Ferne. I'm 34, I've earned my divaship and I'm not going to be spoken to like a bit of dirt."
4. The geography quiz
Amy Childs: "What is the capital of India, what do you think?"
Harry Derbidge: "Persia?"
Amy: "Is that a made up country?"
Harry: "I don't know, is it?"
5. I always deliver
Bobby Norris: "I'm like the milkman Gemma, I always deliver."
Oh, yes, you do.
6. Joey's CV
Joey Essex: "I used to work down Billingsgate fish market. I used to go in the freezers and because I'd had so many sunbeds my lips used to swell up, so they sacked me."
7. On ultimate fame
Sam Faiers: "If you get a waxwork done, that's how you know you've made it."
8. Rapper extraordinaire
Nanny Pat unleashed her inner rapper and came out with this gem
"I went to get a pint of milk, and I was wearing silk"
9. The mystery of Pancake Day
Chloe Sims: "Do you know what Pancake Day is for and why we celebrate it?"
Lauren Pope: "It''s something to do with someone who has the surname Pancake."
10. On keeping informed
Gemma Collins: "People my age don't really watch the news because they find it boring"
11. On noses
Vas to Lydia: "You're a nosy person, your nose is everywhere, I'm surprised it's on your face right now."
12: Lucy's new look
Mario talking about Lucy's new hair: "She left the house looking like Kim Kardashian and came back looking like Nicola Roberts."
13. Gemma's candy lesson for Arg
"You don't ever disrespect a girl again. Take a good look at this. You ain't ever going to get this candy."
Gemma continued "I am f****** sexy James, I am sexy. I am sexy, and I know it."
14. On chemistry
Bobby Norris: "Chemistry is like chlamydia, you either got it or you ain't."
15: During a pub quiz
Gemma Collins: "What class at school would you use a Bunsen burner?"
Joey Essex: "Year seven."
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