Do you dare to bare in the bedroom?

Published Tuesday, Dec 3 2013, 20:00 GMT  |  By  |  Add comment
A recent survey revealed one in six women refuses to let her partner see her naked. So we asked four Reveal readers if they were brave enough to bare all in front of their blokes…

Do you dare to bare all in the bedroom group shot with Roxy Judders, Kayleigh Bentham, Becky Barnes and Zoe Bake

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Roxy, Kayleigh, Becky and Zoe

'NO' says Zoe Bake, 24, a mum-of-two from Oxfordshire


Zoe Bake - do you dare to bare all in the bedroom?

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Zoe Bake feels out of proportion

"I've been with my husband, Raymond, for eight years and I hate it when he sees me without any clothes. Obviously we live together, so sometimes it's unavoidable, but whenever I can avoid showing him my body, I do.

I'll race upstairs to get changed for bed while he's safely on the sofa watching TV. And when I'm having a shower, I make sure the door is firmly closed. Even when we're having sex, I make sure the lights are off and I'm under the duvet.

Admitting that makes me feel really sad and I wish I could change it. When I met Raymond, 24, at college, we were just 16. I was a skinny size 6 and never thought twice about my body.

But after having two little boys, Bradley and Harry, I now can't stop thinking about it. I have a whole list of things I'd like to change – I'd have a smaller bum, bigger boobs, smoother legs… the list goes on.

I'm a pear shape, with a small top and big hips, and that's what I hate the most. At least if I had bigger boobs, I'd feel curvy and voluptuous, like a real woman. But now, I just feel out of proportion.

Raymond hates that I'm so self-conscious and is forever telling me how beautiful I am and how much he fancies me. But no matter what he says, it doesn't sink in.

I've tried exercise but, after looking after the boys all day, I'm exhausted. I don't have the willpower to diet when they eat treats. We've even talked about me having a boob job but at the minute we can't afford it. I guess I'm doomed to stripping off in secret for now."

'NO' says Roxy Judders, 24, a driver from Rainham, Essex


Roxy Judders - do you dare to bare all in the bedroom

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Roxy Judders can't relax until the lights are off

"I was just 14 when I first stopped eating. My mum and dad broke up and my world span out of control. The only thing that remained in my power was food. That was when I started limiting what I ate, making meals smaller and smaller.

Eighteen months later, in 2005, I'd starved myself to just under 4st. My mum, terrified I was going to die, admitted me to hospital. There, I was weighed twice a week for six months and I didn't leave until I was 7st 7lb and a much healthier size 8.

It's something I've battled with every day since – that, and my body confidence. It was made worse by a boy I met several years ago. Despite knowing about my history, he wasn't supportive. He'd point out whenever I put on a couple of pounds. By the time we broke up a year and a half later, the damage was well and truly done, and I couldn't bear to let anyone see me without any clothes.

Since then, I've started seeing my boyfriend Mark, 24, through my old job delivering dry-cleaning. Although I'd love to be more confident with him, I can't change the way I feel.

At bedtime, I cover up with big pyjamas and long T-shirts to cover my waist, which is the area I hate the most. And even on the hottest summer's day, I always wear my dressing gown.

I'll wait until Mark is in the shower to get ready for bed, and even once I'm beneath the covers, I don't feel like I can relax until the lights go off.

Mark doesn't always understand my insecurities but he always tries to be there for me. Hopefully, one day, I'll be confident enough to be the woman I want to be."

'YES' says Becky Barnes, 33, a fashion blogger from Lincolnshire


Becky Barnes - do you dare to bare all in the bedroom

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Becky Barnes is confident in the boudoir!

"I've always been very open regarding matters of the bedroom. I think if you want to sleep with someone, you should be comfortable enough to get your kit off.

I've been with my husband Michael for seven years and he's seen me at size 32 and size 20 – it's never had an impact on how confident I felt undressing.

Like anyone, there are parts of my body I would alter. Having our daughter Poppy, now three, has left me with a wrinkly "mummy tummy", but I won't beat myself up about it. I try to focus on things I'm proud of, like my perky Kim K bum, my graceful hands and my eyes.

There's pressure to look a certain way which strips women of their confidence. Six years ago, I had a gastric band. I was 26 and I thought losing weight would make my life easier.

I lost almost five stone in six months but reached a plateau at size 20. I thought I'd be much slimmer and was disappointed. Then Poppy was born and I discovered the world of fashion blogging. I realised there were loads of plus-sized women like me enjoying fashion. All my friends are slim, so I'd never been able to share my passion with them – we rarely shop at the same stores.

In July 2011 I started my blog,, writing about and modelling plus size ranges. It's grown since, and I'm up for three gongs at the British Plus Size Awards, including one for my own catwalk event, Plus North.

Now, 30,000 people read my blog. I can reach more women and encourage them to feel more confident, no matter what their shape.

It's upsetting that so many of us feel negative about our bodies. Having sex is an important part of a relationship – and it's brilliant! So whip your clothes off and enjoy the moment."

'NO' says Kayleigh Bentham, 23, an office administrator from Wigan


Kayleigh Bentham - do you dare to bare all in the bedroom?

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Kayleigh Bentham gets changed in the bathroom

"I never used to be self-conscious about my body. When I first met James seven years ago, I'd never think twice about getting naked in front of him. At a size 8-10, I was happy. Even after I gave birth to our son Harley, in October 2009, my confidence wasn't affected.

But after our daughter Lucy was born last March, she was really ill. Her blood wasn't pumping oxygen around her body properly and she spent two weeks in intensive care, struggling to survive. I was so worried about her, I lost two stone within weeks.

When she came home, I was exhausted from looking after an unwell baby and a toddler. I ate ready meals and snacks to keep my energy levels up.

Now Lucy's eight months old, and I've put on two stone, so I'm the same size I was at nine months pregnant. I'm a size 12-14 and, while I know that the standard size in the UK is a 16, for me it feels huge. My boobs are now an E-cup and my bum is bigger than J.Lo's.

I'm so self-conscious, I get changed in the bathroom and get under the covers as soon as I can. Forget about sexy underwear in bed – I wear my onesie or pyjamas all year.

I feel sorry for James, because this isn't the woman he married two years ago. But I'm terrified he won't fancy me if he sees how big I am. I'm trying to lose weight and regain my confidence.

It's horrible feeling this self-conscious all the time."

So, do you dare to bare? Tell us your thoughts, as the best comment from across the website each week wins £50!