Joking around: the top 10 jokes from Edinburgh Fringe Festival!

Published Tuesday, Aug 20 2013, 22:00 BST  |  By  |  Add comment
The best one-liners from this year's Edinburgh Fringe Fest are here!

The event is the world's largest arts festival and attracts scores of upcoming comedians. It was where Steve Coogan, Jenny Eclair and Al Murray, among others, were all discovered!

Al Murray was discovered at Edinburgh Fringe Festival

© Rex Features

So, if you weren't lucky enough to be there in person, here are the top 10 jokes...

1. "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an Oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa." – Rob Auton

2. "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole destroying." – Alex Horne

3. "I'm in a same-sex marriage – the sex is always the same." – Alfie Moore

4. "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him don't be Sicily." – Tim Vine

5. "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell." – Gary Delaney

6. "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, he just keeps being replaced by white men." – Phil Wang

7. "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost." – Marcus Brigstocke

8. "The universe implodes. No matter." – Liam Williams

9. "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it difficult to enjoy any lapdance." – Bobby Mair

10. "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately." – Chris Coltrane.

Previous winners include:

Stewart Francis (2012): "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."

Nick Helm (2011): "I needed a password of eight characters, so I picked Snow White And The Seven Dwarves."

Tim Vine (2010): "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again…"

By Charlotte Dykes