TOWIE series finale: Lauren Goodger leaves and Mario gets naked!

The Only Way Is Essex's final episode of this series warns us it will end with "prom queens, ugly scenes and a surprising climax…" It doesn't mention tears, tantrums, a naked cast member having his member sculpted for an ice statue or another star disappearing into the sunset, leaving Essex for pastures new!



But let's start at the beginning. As promised last week, Lucy's throwing an American prom-themed 21st birthday party so, naturally, she needs Mario to strip starkers and pose as she measures his member (seriously!) for a life-sized ice sculpture. Because as anyone who's watched Grease or Never Been Kissed knows, no high school dance is complete without a naked man. Mario's equally perplexed about why his nether regions are going to be the star attraction. "So people can take a shot of vodka from your willy," explains Lucy. Of course!

Over at Sam and Joey's, a newly-single Tom Pearce has popped by to request they keep him away from anyone named Lauren in the future. Sorry any Tom-loving Laurens out there.



Things are looking cheerier for Bobby and Charlie, however, who seem to have patched things up since their recent differences. They're getting measured for Lucy's prom with Ricky and Little Chris (though not in the same way Mario was being measured, we must stress!). Bobby's gone for a fetching orange waistcoat to match his skin tone. His words, not ours!

Ricky kind of wishes Charlie was gay so he could hook up with Bobby because they have such a great friendship. Of course, talk soon turns to Gemma who called Bobby four times last night but he hasn't answered. "What do I have to say?" he asks, claiming Gems has made things awkward between him and Charlie by "lying". He adds: "She has the morals of an alleycat and I'm not having it!"

Charlie seems to agree saying: "She's categorically a class A liar and I can't be dealing with her." We reckon he'll have to at some stage in this episode, though…



Elsewhere, Gemma's mum is saying she should back off Charlie and that he isn't gay. "They were winding me up in a row," asserts Gemma. "I didn't mean it… I don't want to be horrible but at the same time I have to stick up for what I believe in. Someone is lying and it isn't me."

In town, Jess and Carol are awaiting Lauren's arrival – it seems Arg has finally managed to convince her to meet with the Wrights. Poor Lauren is shaking with nerves as she enters the restaurant but Carol breaks the ice by joking: "Are you two on a date?!"



Lauren starts the chat: "I've not come here to think it will all be hunky dory, it's because I want to draw a line under everything that has happened."

Amazingly, the talk goes very smoothly and amicably – no handbags or fireworks here! Both Lauren and Jess get tearful as they reminisce about how close they used to be and how hurt they have felt. "I don't know how it would go back to normal," says Jess. "I wish I could click my fingers and we'd be friends again like we used to be."



"I think it's good we've built bridges in a way and got certain things off our chest," she adds, saying she appreciates what Lauren has said.

After some light relief from Diags chatting beauty and waxing with Chloe and Lauren Pope, we see a big romantic gesture from Tom K. He's just arrived to collect Lydia for the prom in a stunning vintage car! Even better, he's asked her to move in with him! Aww, congratulations guys!



At the prom, Mario's ice statue is a big hit. Literally. "It's humungous!" he says, checking out his icy manhood. "I must have got my measurements wrong," laughs Lucy.

But this is TOWIE and it's not all laughs for long – bring on the drama! Gemma approaches Charlie outside in the garden and warns him she has a sore throat so won't be shouting. But, she continues, the reason she's been shouting lately is that she knows when she is right and that Bobby definitely did insinuate Charlie had been touchy-feely in Marbella. And he mentioned that Bobby and Charlie had done a foursome!



Conveniently, Bobby chooses this moment to emerge with drinks – and defend himself. There was talk of a foursome but when Charlie and Bobby knew what the other couple wanted they left them to it.

Charlie adds: "Nothing has categorically ever gone on with me and Bobby EVER!"

Oh dear, looks like we'll have to wait until next season to see if these guys can make up. Maybe they can take some inspiration from Lauren, Sam and Lucy, who are inside chatting about how they're all fine with each other now but at some point in the past have all had issues.

"We're getting older and we've matured and changed," says Lauren.



Next up, we learn Mario has chosen Little Chris as his best man, and Lydia and Tom K have been voted prom king and queen. Harsh when it's Lucy's birthday! And harsh for Arg, who is hosting proceedings and has to hand his ex and her new man the crown. Although he somewhat distracts everyone by making a joke about how Tom P could have been nominated if Lauren hadn't dumped him. Ouch!

There's fireworks after the announcement between Jamie and Frankie when the latter rejects his apology about what he said. She chucks a drink at him. Girls don't like boys talking about them crudely, OK guys?!



Lauren, meanwhile, is in a wistful mood as she and Arg reminisce about their pasts. She admits she'll love Mark for the rest of her life ("it's a habit"), and she regrets a lot of things. So much has happened and she understands some people here might not like her. "I can't stay around here any more," she says, as she begins to cry. "I need to get away and be me and find myself."

Arg looks pretty stunned and sad that he's losing another friend but loyally comforts her when she admits she's scared. He confesses (turn away, Gemma!) that he understands because they've both lost the loves of their lives at some stage.

So it looks like it's goodbye for Lauren for now. We'll miss her!

TOWIE returns for a new season in the autumn


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