Are smartphones a passion killer?

Published Tuesday, Jul 22 2014, 00:01 BST  |  By  |  1 comment
A new study shows 75 per cent of couples are browsing social networks in bed and almost half are turning down sex in favour of their phones – so are they ruining our sex lives?

Are smartphones a passion killer?

© Getty Images / Steve Sparrow

Are smartphones a passion killer?

Yes says full-time mum, Holly Ellis

"Most evenings, you'll find me curled up on the sofa surfing the web on my smartphone, browsing Facebook and Instagram.

Holly Ellis

© Reader's own

Across the room from me, there's Rob, my partner of just over a year. And guess what? He's doing the exact same thing. We're terrible – smartphone-addicts who spend way more time gazing into the abyss of our cyber-world than we do gazing into each other's eyes.

We joke that we don't know how we've managed to get pregnant. We hardly ever have sex, but I check my Facebook account a dozen times a day. We're either on our phones or arguing about who's been on their phone too much.

I'll admit, if Rob's in the garden and I'm in the kitchen, I'll text him. I simply can't live without my phone – whether I'm feeding the baby or cooking dinner – my beloved smartphone is always to hand.

Once it turned itself off for half an hour and I couldn't turn it on. I had withdrawal symptoms and kept imagining it was buzzing when it wasn't.

We've tried setting ground rules, like 'no phones in the bedroom'. But then one of us will hear that familiar 'beep beep' from afar and be tempted to find out what's occurring in cyberspace. Cue a massive argument.

My low-maintenance and entertaining phone is far less effort than sex. No need for lacy underwear, candles or romantic music. It's just a matter of plugging it in and logging on. Sex or smartphone? I've got to stop opting for my mobile."

Only if you let it, says writer Kim Willis

"Are smartphones a passion killer in the bedroom? Well, obviously! If you let them, they'll take over your life, your world, your line of sight, until you start seeing Twitter feeds in your sleep and pretty, filtered Instagram pictures etched onto your eyelids.

Kim Willis headshot

© Kim Willis

I think smartphones are the root of all evil. Our ancestors were out throwing spears and, as a result, were fit and healthy.

Today we have it so easy that our posture is taking a hit, and our bodies are at risk of evolving into a new hunched-over shape, with fingers that are good for nothing but typing
and swiping.

The only way to prevent smartphones being a passion killer is to have RULES. Not very romantic, I know, but better than the soft glow of your partner's phone lighting up the room while you are trying to get jiggy.

There should be no phones in the bedroom. No technology at all, in fact, as I'm pretty sure it's bad feng shui.

Instead, the bedroom should be a tech-free, peaceful place where you look your partner in the eye and talk to each other – human to human, not through text or email – and if the mood takes you, you bonk.

Not only will you be bonding with the actual human being lying next to you rather than the cyber-beings in your phone, you'll have a better night's sleep without an overflow of information bombarding your mind while you're trying to wind down.

Leave your phone downstairs. Make love, not status updates. Believe me, your newsfeed can wait."

Are smartphones a passion killer?
Only if you let them be31.07%

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