Debate: Is it OK to tell your other half they're looking chubby?

Published Tuesday, Feb 4 2014, 00:01 GMT  |  By  |  1 comment
Research by prepared meal service Diet Chef reveals that 62 per cent of us gain at least one stone in a relationship. But is it right to be honest about the extra flab?

Debate: is it ok to tell your partner they're looking chubby?

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YES says journalist Suzie Dalton, 35

I've been with my husband for 10 years, and there are two key elements to our relationship being happy – one is that we still fancy each other, and the other is that we're honest with each other.

That means that if Mike puts on
Suzie Dalton head shot
weight to the point of looking chubby, then I gently suggest that he might want to hit the treadmill.

I know some people will think that's cruel, but I see absolutely no harm in making sure that we're still attracted to each other.

I've only ever once told Mike he'd put too much weight on. We'd been living together for just over a year, and the nightly bottles of wine and cosy takeaways we were enjoying were taking their toll.

It took me weeks to find the right moment, but when I eventually got the words out – with a gently teasing undertone – he got the message loud and clear.

The very next week he signed up to the gym. Six months passed and, while Mike looked good, I was aware that my own clothes were getting a bit tighter. Except I was kidding myself that my new curves were sexy.

When my mum eventually mentioned that I'd gained some padding, I was offended. It was only when my best friend told me the same thing that I finally acknowledged the truth – I was like a little barrel.

It would have been so much easier to hear those words from Mike, especially as he eagerly signed me up to the gym when I finally shared my concerns. He'd clearly been thinking that I needed to tone up but hadn't known how to tell me.

Nowadays, we have an agreement that we tell each other the truth. I'm sure he'd agree that I did him a favour, and likewise I expect the same degree of honesty. Tell me if I'm looking nice, but tell me if I'm porky as well!

NO says Reveal's Senior Features Writer, Sarah Whiteley, 29

To clarify for any potential boyfriends who are reading this – well, you never know! – I would NEVER want my loved one to point out if I'm piling on the pounds.

Sarah Whiteley
Granted, nobody minds the odd joke about having a 'food baby' after indulging in a supersized takeaway. My ex and I used to love comparing our stomachs after a big blow-out. It was a source of constant amusement, particularly for him.

But if I gained so much weight that people felt they had to intervene, I'd never want my boyfriend telling me I was turning into a chubster! My sister, yes, my mum, fine. I could even handle it from my friends.

But from my boyfriend? Nope! He's the one who is meant to find you most attractive, not pick apart your every flaw. Whenever I do gain a little extra flab, I feel bad enough about myself as it is. If my boyfriend started voicing concerns about my body, I'd probably freak out! Or at least leave him…

Plus, if my man mentioned my weight gain, that would imply he wanted me to do something about it. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I'd want him to love me for who I am, not because of the way I look.

I'm not saying that the minute I get comfortable in a relationship, I'm going to balloon out of my size 10 jeans. But equally, if I do put on weight, I don't want my boyfriend pointing it out and putting pressure on me to lose it.

So, boys, please don't do it. Your girlfriend might tell you she appreciates it, but she's probably crying herself to sleep over your 'honesty'!

What do you think? Would you be brutally honest with your partner? And more importantly, would you want him to be honest with you?! Tell us your thoughts below...

Is it ever OK to tell your other half they are looking chubby?
YES - I agree with Suzie53.13%
NO - I agree with Sarah46.88%
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