Would you sign a sex pre-nup?

Published Tuesday, Jun 18 2013, 06:00 BST  |  By  |  Add comment
A host of A-listers are said to have signed pre-marriage contracts with 'lifestyle clauses' to agree on everything from sex to TV. Would you be up for it?

Couple in bed looking annoyed and not speaking to one another

© Rex Features

YES says Su Karney, Reveal's Features Editor

Granted, those romcom/chicklit fantasy proposals – the ones where dashing Prince Charming gets down on one knee and produces the perfect ring, along with a carefully rehearsed speech about how life isn't worth living without you by his side – are not generally followed by said prince busting out a fat legal document and asking you to just sign here, here and here.

But the idea of drawing up a pre-nup
Su Karney headshot. Debate on would you let your new man meet your ex?

© Reveal

to agree on lifestyle and relationship matters such as sex actually makes a lot of sense. The Hollywood celebs are apparently fond of using pre-marriage contracts to stipulate everything from when they'll make love to when they'll watch TV.

It's said that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg's wife, Priscilla, has made him agree to spend at least one evening a week away from his computer, while Nicole Kidman's husband Keith Urban wouldn't get a penny from her if he was caught using narcotics.

With divorce at an all-time high, anything you can do to ensure both you and the hubby are on the same page can only be good. These days, many of us prefer to live with a partner before we walk down the aisle. But if knowing whether he leaves the toilet seat up or the lid off the toothpaste is important, surely the other aspects of day-to-day life should be discussed before making a lifelong commitment?

Yes, a contract sounds cold and unromantic. But making an agreement that you'll both take care of one another's needs and expectations can only make you stronger as a couple.

NO says Suzi Dalton, a writer from Kent

Settling down with a future husband is a nerve-racking business. You're committing to love one person for the rest of your life – which means you'll never have first-time sex with a hot new man again!

It's a gamble, so it's hardly surprising that us girls want a promise that our future husband will treat us with TLC. But that's all you should need – his word. I can think of no better way to ruin a relationship than signing a pre-nup, especially one that tells you how often you'll be putting out.

Suzie Dalton head shot
I'm not some performing seal – if my husband's in the mood, he can damn well seduce me. I'll have sex because I want to, not because it's in a contract that says I must.

And it works in his favour, too. I'm an old-fashioned girl with old-fashioned ideas about keeping him happy. I never let my legs get stubbly, I always wear matching undies and I never pee in front of him. And I do those things willingly. If you've signed a piece of paper which says that you're guaranteed sex, it'd be so easy to stop putting the effort in.

Couples who've designated 'sex nights' lack spontaneity. What if your bloke's spent the night being a grumpy pain? Are you still expected to turn on your inner sex kitten once you get into bed?

I'm sure some women think a pre-agreed sex night will keep their husbands from straying, as he's getting regular nookie at home. But regular sex doesn't necessarily mean good sex.

All a pre-nup says to me is, you don't trust your other half to keep you happy. You may as well sound the death knell for your relationship.

Would you sign a sex pre-nup?
YES - I agree with Su25.71%
NO - I agree with Suzi74.29%

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