Debates

Is a bloke with a teddy bear a massive turn-off?

Published Tuesday, Aug 14 2012, 12:11 BST | By Su Karney | 2 comments

As new Hollywood rom-com Ted, starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, takes the box office by storm, we ask two women if they'd be turned-off by a man with a teddy

YES says Sarah Whiteley, 28, a PR and writer from Newcastle

'Come on, a man with a penchant for teddies? Are you serious?

I'll admit right off the bat that I have a cuddly toy, which I've cherished since I was one. He's a soft dog, called Ben, mainly held together by dirt now.

Ben lives in my old bedroom at my parent's house and whenever I go home, I give him a fond hug and remember everything we've been through together – the laughs, the tears. Ah, I'm getting a bit emotional thinking about him…

But this is OK. Because I am a girl. A rather soft, girly-girl. But would I want my man to be the same? Definitely not! Just the way I wouldn't want my boyfriend to whimper for a tissue during The Notebook or spend hours discussing whether I think his boss at mad at him because of the way he said good morning, I wouldn't want his bedroom littered with soft toys.

I want to know I am the only one he wants to snuggle up to with a Sunday morning hangover and I can certainly live without 'Rupert' or 'Yogi' asking me a in teeny-weeny cutsie voice if I might make 'Big Bear' a cuppa. Grow up.

This makes me sound old-fashioned and I'm really not. I'm independent and have a career and I don't oppose men having a sensitive side – the odd tear is never a bad thing.

But would I really want to have to fight through an array of teddies to get to my boyfriend's bed? I'm sorry, it would have me heading, if not for the hills, then definitely for the front door.'

NO says Sarah Welsh, 35, a freelance writer from Hertfordshire

'Don't get me wrong, I do NOT have a men-with-a-stuffed-animal fetish. If I'd ever dated a man and gone back to his place to find it packed to the rafters with teddy bears and other assorted soft toys I would have been out the door quicker than you could say, 'Needs professional help!"

However, that doesn't mean I think all men who happen to own a teddy are repulsive.

Personally I think it's sexist to discount a bloke completely based on something as stupid as a treasured childhood memento.

Most women I know have kept a toy they used to love as a kid and you don't see men writing them off because of it. Are you seriously telling me you would kick Matthew McConaughey out of bed if you discovered Roger*, his cherished stuffed rabbit?!

Saying a bloke with a teddy bear is a massive turn-off is like saying men who cry make you shudder. It's no different than a man keeping hold of the Everton FC duvet he used to love when he was six or that VHS copy of the 1988 FA Cup Final.

However, if your partner owned a teddy, and had the entire box set of Sex and the City, and dragged you to every single Jennifer Aniston film you might have something to worry about.

Since our one-year-old daughter arrived on the scene my husband is often to be found with a stuffed animal about his person – this means he is more attractive as he can get her to stop crying when we go out for dinner.

Discounting a bloke because of a teddy is simply shallow. However, if he's got bad shoes, it's just good sense…'

*As far as we know, Mr. McConaughey does not own a rabbit called Roger.